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Monday, 13 February 2012

40 unwanted Mistakes Men Make While Having Sex With Women


40 unwanted Mistakes Men Make While Having Sex With Women

1) NOT KISSING FIRST. Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her feel like you're paying by the hour and trying to get your money's worth by cutting out nonessentials. A proper passionate kiss is the ultimate form of foreplay.

2) BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR. Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this. Well, there's a difference between being erotic and blowing as if you're trying to extinguish the candles on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts.

3) NOT SHAVING. You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin which your rake repeatedly across your partner's face and thighs.When she turns her head from side to side, it's not passion, it's avoidance.

4) SQUEEZING HER BREAST. Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they get their hand on a pair. Stroke, caress, and smooth them.

5) BITING HER NIPPLES. Why do men fasten onto a woman's nipples, then clamp down like they're trying to deflate her body via her breasts?
Nipples are highly sensitive. They can't stand up to chewing. Lick and suck them gently. Flicking your tongue across them is good.Pretending they're a dogie toy, isn't.

6) TWIDDLING HER NIPPLES. Stop doing that thing where you twiddle the nipples between finger and thumb like you're trying to find a radio station in a hilly area. Focus on the whole breasts, not just the exclamation points.


7) IGNORING THE OTHER PARTS OF HER BODY. A woman is not a highway with just three turnoffs: Breastville East and West, and the Midtown Tunnel.There are vast areas of her body which you've ignored far too often as you go bombing straight into downtown Vagina. So start paying them someattention.

8) GETTING THE HAND TRAPPED. Poor manual dexterity in the underskirt region can result in tangled fingers and underpants. If you're going to be that aggressive, just ask her to take the damn things off.

9) LEAVING HER A LITTLE PRESENT. Condom disposal is the man's responsibility. You wore it, you store it.

10) ATTACKING THE CLITORIS. Direct pressure is very unpleasant, so gently rotate your fingers along side of the clitoris.

11) STOPPING FOR A BREAK. Women, unlike men, don't pick up where they left off. If you stop, they plummet back to square one very fast. If you can tell she's not there,keep going at all costs, numb jaw or not.

12) UNDRESSING HER AWKWARDLY. Women hate looking stupid, but stupid she will look when naked at the waist with a sweater stuck over her head. Unwrap her like an elegant present, not a kid's toy.

13) GIVING HER A WEDGIE DURING FOREPLAY. Stroking her gently through her panties can be very sexy. Pulling the material up between her thighs and yanking it back and forth is not.

14) BEING OBSESSED WITH THE VAGINA.Although most men can find the clitoris without maps, they still believe that the vagina is where it's all at. No sooner is your hand down there than you're trying to stuff stolen banknotes up a chimney. This is okay in principle, but if you're not careful, it can hurt so don't get carried away. It's best to pay more attention to her clitoris and the exterior of her vagina at first, then gently slip a finger inside her and see if she likes it.

15) MASSAGING TOO ROUGHLY. You're attempting to give her a sensual, relaxing massage to get her in the mood. Hands and fingertips are okay; elbows and knees are not.

16) UNDRESSING PREMATURELY. Don't force the issue by stripping before she's at least made some move getting your stuff off, even if it's just undoing a couple of buttons.

17) TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF FIRST. A man in socks and underpants is a at his worst. Lose the socks first.

18) GOING TOO FAST. When you get to the penis-in-vagina situation, the worst thing you can do is pump away like an industrial power tool -she'll soon feel like an assembly-line worker made obsolete by your technology. Build up slowly,with clean, straight, regular thrusts.

19) GOING TOO HARD. you bash your great triangular hip bones into her thigh or stomach, the pain is equal to two weeks of horseback riding concentrated into a few seconds.

20) COMING TOO SOON. Every man's fear. With reason. If you shoot before you see the whites of her eyes, make sure you have a backup plan to ensure her pleasure too.

21) NOT COMING SOON ENOUGH. It may appear to you that humping for an hour without climaxing is the mark of a sex god, but to her it's more likely the mark of a numb vagina. At least buy some intriguing wall hangings, so she has somethi ng to hold her interest while you're playing Marathon Man.

22) ASKING IF SHE HAS COME. You really ought to be able to tell. Most women make noise. But if you really don't know, don't ask

23) PERFORMING ORAL SEX TOO GENTLY. Don't act like a giant cat at a saucer of milk. Get your whole mouth down there, and concentrate on gently rotating or flicking your tongue on her clitoris.

24) NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN. Men persist in doing this until she's eyeball-to-penis, hoping that it will lead very swiftly to mouth-to-penis. All women hate this.It's about three steps from being dragged to a cave by their hair. If you want her to use her mouth, use yours; try talking seductively to her.

25) NOT WARNING HER BEFORE YOU CLIMAX. Sperm tastes like sea water mixed with egg white. Not everybody likes it. When she's performing oral sex, warn her before you come so she can do what's necessary.

26) MOVING AROUND DURING FELLATIO. Don't thrust. She'll do all the moving during fellatio. You just lie there. And don't grab her head.

27) TAKING ETIQUETTE ADVICE FROM PORN MOVIES. In X-rated movies, women seem to love it when men ejaculate over them. In real life, it just means more laundry to do.

28) MAKING HER RIDE ON TOP FOR AGES. Asking her to be on top is fine. Lying there grunting while she does all the hard work is not.
Caress her gently, so that she doesn't feel quite so like the captain of a schooner. And let her have a rest.

29) ATTEMPTING ANAL SEX AND PRETENDING IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. This is how men earn a reputatio n for not being able to follow directions. If you want to put it there, ask her first. And don't think that being drunk is an excuse.

30) TAKING PICTURES. When a man says, "Can I take a photo of you?" she'll hear the words "__to show my buddies." At least let her have custody of them.

31) NOT BEING IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH. Imagination is anything from drawing patterns on her back to pouring honey on her and licking it off.

Fruit, vegetables, ice and feathers are all handy props; hot candle wax and permanent dye are a no no.
32) SLAPPING YOUR STOMACH AGAINST HERS. There is no less erotic noise. It's as sexy as a belching contest.

33) ARRANGING HER IN STUPID POSES. If she wants to do advanced yoga in bed, fine, but unless she's a Romanian gymnast, don't get too ambitious. Ask yourself if you want a sexual partner with snapped hamstrings.

34) LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE. Read this carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for men because they have a prostate. Women don't.

35) GIVING LOVE BITES. is highly erotic to exert some gentle suction on the sides of the neck, if you do it carefully. No woman wants to have to wear turtlenecks and jaunty scarves for weeks on end.
36) BARKING INSTRUCTIONS. Don't shout encouragement like a coach with a megaphone. It's not a big turn-on.

37) TALKING DIRTY. makes you sound like a lonely magazine editor calling a 1-900 line. If she likes nasty talk, she'll let you know

38) NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES. have to finish the job. Keep on trying until you get it right, and she might even do the same for you.

39) SQUASHING HER. Men generally weigh more than women, so if you lie on her a bit too she will turn blue.

40) THANKING HER. Never thank a woman for having sex with you.Your bedroom is not a soup kitchen.Women, You should forward this to all your boyfriends/husbands foruninterrupted PLEASURE !

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197 comments:

  1. Lol, very interesting tutorial on how a man is suppose to please a woman during sex or should i say love making...But what about woman, something should be posted for them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 1) Show up naked.
      2) Bring beer.

      Delete
    2. Exactly.

      Delete
    3. i hate these things. like men do everything wrong in bed. as if having sex with some one laying there like a dead body is enjoyable? grow up. women can suck in bed just as much as men. easy to say we make all the mistakes when we do all the work.

      Delete
    4. heres the list for women:
      1) Dont be a stuck up c**t who thinks that you deserve the royal treatment for being about as wild as a dead fish... especially when you smell like one too.

      Delete
    5. Jesus, there are some bitter, insecure men on this comment feed. Where does it say that all women are sex goddesses? Where does it say that all men suck at sex?

      Also, if your regular lovers are the equivalents of fish, then you should probably be upping your standards, or considering that better partners are not considering you sex material for a reason.

      Delete
    6. this list is assuming every girl likes to have sex the same way. some girls like rough stuff. i agree with some of these facts but some of them really are just pushing all the work on the men.for example men shouldnt move when recieving a blow job. i'll stop doing that when you come up with a nicer way to say hey you cant suck dick worth shit

      Delete
    7. I like having my head pushed down and the taste of cum... This is like a list of things not to do for me...

      Delete
    8. looks like a list from a complete cunt who didnt get what she wanted... hahaha

      Delete
    9. lawls. bottom line is you proooooooobably finish even if she is a "dead fish" & she doesn't.
      They are just tips, don't be do defensive ;)

      Delete
    10. she's probably laying there like a dead fish because she's not enjoying herself.

      Delete
    11. Hopefully I don't sound dumb by making the rash assumption that you have a mouth, but maybe just tell the person you are having sex with how they can make you feel good? Instead of complaining on the internet about a personal lack of communication in the form of "men's mistakes in bed". I feel bad for the guys in this situation who you are fooling into thinking they are doing everything right.
      Immaturity about sex is a bigger turn off than this whole list combined.

      Delete
    12. The greatest irony I find in all of this is that so often women bitch and complain about how men don't communicate enough. Well through my personal experience with several women suddenly when its your fucking turn to talk about things and communicate suddenly your open mind and "honesty" goes out the window and you become the closed mouth. Relationships and sex take two people so cut the bull shit and carry your weight in the relationship you lazy twats and stop complaining. Besides this hardly speaks for all women. Ive known girls who have asked me to cause pain to their nipples because it's a turn on to them yea they're kinda freaks in the sheets and a rarity maybe but still my point is you cant pretend your opinionated crap is fact. So while your aim may have been to educate us once again we have to educate YOU and remind you how foolish this all was to begin with. Because all you did is post some BS complaint that only infuriated us. You could have comunicated with your own man and left us out of it or at least post something to other women telling them to tell their man how to be better. Instead of making a few complaints with passive agressive sarcastis jokes.

      Delete
    13. What many woman do wrong: lying like a dead fish

      Delete
    14. Okay, I just want to say that I'm a sexually active woman and I don't mind 3, 5 and 17. I guess it's subjective, every woman has her likes and dislikes. I really don't mind 5. Like. Not minding at all. I love 5. 5 is wonderful. That's it.

      Delete
    15. All you angry dudes need to chill. It doesn't say anywhere that women are all perfect at their part in sex, because this is only meant to be educational. These are just general tips meant to HELP YOU, and after reading these sorts of things A LOT, I feel safe saying that a majority of women would agree with all 40 tips. Life lesson angry/ stubborn dudes: Don't be so close-minded, because you're definitely not perfect. Be open to constructive criticism, because you should always strive to improve.

      Oh and to the writer of these tips; if these are your "dont's" then damn woman we'd have some good chemmistry

      Delete
    16. All you angry dudes need to chill. This article is meant only to educate you and help you improve. Its not meant to belittle you, so there's no need to defend yourself. It doesn't say anywhere that all women, or even this woman, are perfect at sex.

      Life lesson- Don't be so close minded. Learn to take constructive criticism, because you are definitely not perfect, and you're probably bad at sex if you think these aren't true. Go ask a bunch of chicks, I'm willing to bet 90% would agree with all these. But like the girl above me said, some women are different. That's why some women enjoy serious pain during sex; that's not normal, it just happens.

      And to the writer of this article- If this is your "don't" list, then woman we'd have some good bedroom chemistry

      Delete
    17. those are all true I've been married for about 11 years and I am sure I have violated all those at one time.LOL

      Delete
  2. i prefer practical 2 this long grama

    ReplyDelete
  3. Intresting...as raw as it seems..thr z alot to learn from it. Somthing shuld be posted about d ladies too.

    ReplyDelete
  4. This is a really good post, and I hope that more men know about these things than not. I know my boyfriend does a lot of this stuff, and you're right...most of it is not the most appealing. I agree that it goes both ways, though...there should be an identical post for women as well...I'm sure there's stuff we do that can be turn off-ish. good post ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. so you ENJOY having sex that's about as exciting as softcore porn?

      Delete
    2. hahahahahaha do all this and what do you have? ^^^
      Gotta love being encouraged how to have sex.

      Delete
    3. If a guy is getting it in, you wont be seeing him complaining.

      Delete
  5. I honestly think most of this is horribly offensive and that all couples are like individuals with completely tailored tastes. If you're in an adult relationship you should be able to communicate your likes and dislikes with your partner freely. There's a lot more to be said for having better communication skills than assuming all women secretly sit around critiquing their partners this way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you.

      My response to this is: "Or, you know, you could actually ASK her what she likes and/or if you've done anything she's particularly liked or hated."

      Most of this reads like "40 things guys do in bed that I, the author, personally hate". Which is fine, but shouldn't be speaking for all women everywhere.

      Delete
    2. Yeah, I was just about to say... half of this stuff isn't bad, and hell, some girls even like it. We're not all prudes stuck in the missionary position. Nor are we all little delicate flowers. Just sayin'.

      Delete
    3. AMEN! If this woman knew what kind of shit my girlfriend and i do on a regular basis, she'd probably shit her pants and sew her vagina shut, if she hasnt already.

      I've slept with a few women in my time, and I can identify this one as the lay you forget you ever had.

      Delete
    4. This isn't about all the stuff you have to do, it's a general list diffrent things diffrent women like. I think a lot of them are good tips. Even though I have been married for a while, its really hard to talk about this stuff face to face without hurting his feelings. Say he read this in Maxum magazine, and then decided he'd try it. Because it would be his idea, he wouldn't get his ego squished by being told he is wrong by the person he's with.

      Delete
  6. what's up with the Romanian gymnast comparison?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Where's the article on how to please men? Why is sex so female-oriented? Wheres the article that says "Men don't like having to follow all your fucking rules"? Maybe I want to come early for once. And maybe if I take "too long", did the thought ever occur that maybe it's YOUR fault? Think about it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Actually, it would be yours, as you were unable to stimulate your partner, while said partner apparently has managed to get you off. It's a two person job. If you're gonna be selfish, buy a sex-doll and come in two seconds to your hearts content.

      Delete
    2. Or! Your partner was not able to stimulate you, what a weird concept.

      Delete
    3. I never reply to these, but honestly it's the guys fault because if he stimulated the girl beforehand then she would be aroused and physically tighter which would make the guy climax. If you can go for hours, you're doing something wrong. Stop being so insecure...

      Delete
    4. its called cosmo

      Delete
  8. Good article! thanks for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Wait wait wait! Since when did sex become based on a woman's needs? This is ridiculous.. Lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope, it's totally not based on a woman's needs! You don't even worry about this stupid list! Just keep plowing your girl and ignore her if she, say, /wants/ to orgasm. Stupid females, wanting to finish too!

      Delete
    2. There are thousands of articles just like this about pleasing men in bed. Seriously, have you ever seen the cover of a Cosmopolitan magazine? Just because this is an article about what women like during sex doesn't mean that sex "has become based on a women's needs" at all.

      Delete
    3. Your status as an intelligent life-form should be rigorously investigated if you believe Cosmopolitan properly teaches you how to please a man in bed...

      Delete
    4. It just seems like most of the time, the sex is over when the man comes. How often do you think a couple has sex, the woman has an orgasm and the man doesn't and then it's over?

      Delete
  10. So anything i do is my fault and she has no responsabilities.... awesome...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This isn't "Men Do Everything Wrong During Sex". It's "Things Men Could Work On When Trying to Pleasure Women and Hey, Maybe Consider Doing This Instead Because What You're Doing Could Hurt Her".

      Delete
    2. Or just ask a woman you're dating what she likes.

      I agree that the list should be ignored, but ignore it because it generalizes the tastes of the author to apply to all women and the habits of men to apply to all men. Relations between the sexes just ain't that simple.

      Delete
  11. So anything i attempt is wrong, everything that happens is my fault and she has no responsabilities...


    Yknow what, fck you and take it

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I bet women love you

      Delete
  12. Wolfie Rankin1 August 2012 17:04

    I call this "Reasons to be gay"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol. Good reply.

      Delete
  13. ^^^fuuur realz..

    you women think you know how to please a man so easily. well i gotta say only something like 1/10 times will a woman seem like she knows what shes doing. other than that, they just lay there and hold up this list mentally. not that its wrong. but seriously, are you that narcissistic?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. why would a female know what she was doing with some dude's dick? Really? We can't know.... if you don't want to hurt a females groin, then perhaps take this as a learning lesson... if you don't care- then... well, good luck to you.

      Delete
    2. I must have missed the part of this article that claimed women know everything and men know nothing.

      Delete
  14. Ya think Women have complicated what should be the most pleasurable experince?? WHat ever happend to just going with it, and speak up for what you do and dont want... Shouldn't have to read it on the damn inter-web!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. then why are you reading it?

      Delete
  15. your advice is stupid.
    your brain is stupid.
    seriously, have you NEVER heard of kinky sex? erotic rough play? hardening nipples through painful pleasure? this is a guide to fucking a woman made of glass.
    which is fine! i like a delicate lady once in a while.
    but by no means is this advice generally applicable.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well before rubbing someone raw or pinching until you draw blood, you should probably make sure she's in to that sort of thing first.

      Delete
  16. Wow, sounds like women need to relax a bit. How about you enjoy sex instead of complain about it? Some of this "mistakes" can be really sexy

    ReplyDelete
  17. Definitely a self-obsessed woman author without consideration. What a man should do...always what a man should do.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Have you even seen the cover of a Cosmopolitan magazine? It's full of advice for women on how to please men in bed.

      Delete
  18. THis is a whole bunch of fucking horseshit. What do you want us to do, just sit there while you ahhh pleasure yourself? just buy a dildo then. As a man we try, very hard to make the woman we're with to have the most epic sex sesh of her life. A little reciprocity never killed anyone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Where in this article did it say women shouldn't do anything for men?

      Delete
  19. um, my nipples love everything from licking and sucking to pinching, twisting AND clothespins. They do not like biting, though. Most of that article is pure bunk. However, the squishing the girl part is true for me. Also hate having my head and neck trapped while the guy is on top.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MY nipples love everything from kicking to bucking to punching, fisting AND West Berlin! They do not like fighting, though.
      (I couldn't find any action verbs that rhyme with clothespins. However, I searched rhymes for pins, and West Berlin came up, and I laughed about that. I laughed and laughed and decided to include that in my comment. Have a nice day, and if you see me in public, punch my nipples. ;) )

      Delete
  20. This is funny haha but I agree with what a couple people above said..i.e. not all women are super delicate; I like to be tossed around a bit, I like a hand on the back of my head when I'm going down (and I always put it there myself), and I like when he finishes on me (better on than in). Some of the ideas are a bit too prudey for me, but funny nonetheless

    ReplyDelete
  21. If you are in a trusting relationship this advice is useless as the couple should already know what the other person likes and doesn't through either experiment or conversation. If you are not in a trusting relationship maybe you should just keep your pants on if you are going to complain this much.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Some of this is the worst advice I've ever heard!! Dont take advice from this my girl loves half the stuff it said not to do...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. at least, you think she does lol

      Delete
  23. LOL! I don't care about lists . I Listen women with your 40 item and above lists and the people that write articles such as these . your list belong in the trash what garbage. There isn't a one list fits all women circumstance just as there isn't one list that fits all men. get over yourselves and your lists. This explains the high divorce rates and the selfish narcissists that abide in America . Ladies find a real man and treat him as a partner and equal. Tell him what you need and allow of him the same . Quit following this turd advice. Stop it with those gosh be darn lists ! Sorry but men are not made strictly for your needs . you can't whip him up according to your lists and think that it's going to work , it doesn't.

    ReplyDelete
  24. this is the biggest load of crap ive ever read about sex almost everything you listed is a turn on for one girl or another and you clear know very little actual intimacy

    ReplyDelete
  25. Mistakes women make during sex;
    1. Imposing rules.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mistakes men make: Thinking they can do whatever the f*ck they want to a girl just because she's in his bed.

      Delete
    2. bitch chill out

      Delete
  26. Mistakes women make during sex;
    1. Imposing rules.

    ReplyDelete
  27. This article is uninformed. Opinionated garbage sold as fact... lmao.

    ReplyDelete
  28. to me this sounds like a girl ranting on about how men are stupid shes probably better off being a lesbian

    ReplyDelete
  29. Wow, Just wow. Ive been with at least 3 women that would laugh at this list. Not all women are delicate little flowers that you have to touch like fine china. Some women (and men) Like to be roughed up a little, and some women like to be roughed up a little more then a little. Ask what they like and do not like. You might be surprised that maybe you are doing things to gentle. I know I was...

    ReplyDelete
  30. Yea know, rather then posting a list like this and pretending to speak for your entire gender, it would be far more effective to just say "pay attention to your partner's responses".

    Also, if you don't like what your man's doing in bed, say something NICELY (there's nothing worse then someone that acts like a jerk in bed, male or female) or guide him towards something you do like. If you let him keep doing something you don't like, he's probably going to assume you like it and keep doing it... esp if you do that crap that a lot of women do and pretend you like it when you don't. If you have a man that's worth sleeping with, you probably don't need to say anything most of the time, but we're not mind readers and occasionally get a moan of pleasure confused with one of discomfort or pain.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Yea know, rather then posting a list like this and pretending to speak for your entire gender, it would be far more effective to just say "pay attention to your partner's responses".

    Also, if you don't like what your man's doing in bed, say something NICELY (there's nothing worse then someone that acts like a jerk in bed, male or female) or guide him towards something you do like. If you let him keep doing something you don't like, he's probably going to assume you like it and keep doing it... esp if you do that crap that a lot of women do and pretend you like it when you don't. If you have a man that's worth sleeping with, you probably don't need to say anything most of the time, but we're not mind readers and occasionally get a moan of pleasure confused with one of discomfort or pain.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Mostly good advice. I do take slight issue with the one about asking if she climaxed though. If you can't tell if she did for whatever reason, I believe open communication is important. Not just finding out if she came, but afterwards determining what she liked the most, etc. It should be a building experience, leading to perfecting what your partner likes.

    Also, some chicks like anal. Of course ask first, but just because they don't have a prostate doesn't mean they won't enjoy it.

    ReplyDelete
  33. This must've been writting by a very inexperienced girl, most of this stuff is what girls imagine during first couple times they do it

    ReplyDelete
  34. A persons preferences are relevant to them and them only.
    Some people actually like having their nipples bitten, and dirty talk.
    Obviously the person who wrote this is a little plain jane

    ReplyDelete
  35. This is probably the most retarded thing I have ever read

    ReplyDelete
  36. I hope this isn't a serious list because this is quite possibly the dumbest thing I've ever read in my life. You have literally listed pretty much everything that can happen during a sexual encounter. If this was written as a serious list, then I truly feel sorry for the author because they've clearly never enjoyed sex and that is just tragic :(

    What got me the most was how this list seems to contradict itself in several places, the most amusing to me is "Not being imaginative enough" and "don't put her in stupid poses" LOL Jesus Christ woman, what do you want?! LOL

    And then there is the rather disturbing "just lie there during oral sex". Okay, if you don't want a guy shoving it down your throat I get that, but "just lie there". Really? If a man said that to a woman there would be hell to pay and we all know it. Sounds like YOU'RE the one with a problem and just expect men to please you and to hell with them. Who cares if they actually enjoy it?

    Just save everyone some trouble...buy a vib and call it a day.

    ReplyDelete
  37. A woman states an opinion. The crowd throws stones and starts a fight. Thus is Humanity.
    Stop arguing...Go have sex!

    ReplyDelete
  38. Well some of the list was good advice as far as I can tell. Some of the material doesn't hold up to my life experiences though.

    If the sex ends up being good, girls don't care about the awkward little moments that are bound to happen. A woman couldn't possible think "that sex was awesome, but I hated how he got his hand caught in my panties".

    ReplyDelete
  39. There are a few thing sexually incorrect on this post for instance
    34) LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE. of course she does not have a prostate but women can have a g-spot orgasm during sex if they can get pass the uncomfortable 2nd sphincter muscle. There are many reasons why men like to go back there on women but there is only one reason why so many women are letting them do it. and that is easier access to the G-spot

    ReplyDelete
  40. "Mistakes men made when trying to please the lesbian author in bed"

    ReplyDelete
  41. I'm gay and by reading this I'm so glad I don't like women, sounds like women like the most boring kind of sex.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Your article lost all validity at #20-#22; "coming" and "come". It is 'cumming' and cum'. I feel bad for you never having a good partner that didn't ask what you wanted. But it doesn't seem like you know yet. That is ok but you need to be open to what you want.

    I'd like to see your partners list of "what a women needs to work on". It seems like it is all the mans fault to you, but it may be because you are making him do all the work. Not reciprocating may have caused him to do all of these things. It is easy to blame someone else for all the mistakes when you have not attempted anything in return for fear of failing yourself. Obviously you are very analytical so i'm sure this is projected through your ideals.

    No one is perfect. Including you, so stop being so hard on yourself and maybe that will cause you to be a little more light hearted making sex fun. Life is good. Enjoy it! :)

    ReplyDelete
  43. Damn, all of these comments are so negative.

    Hey, sex is an individual thing. This article is just a list of suggestions - a mere "hey, a lot of women probably don't like this, I suggest trying something else." No one, not even the author, said that this is exactly how sex should be for everyone.

    Not everyone likes sex as the author depicted it, and not everyone likes sex the way the commenters are depicting it. We all like sex in our own individual ways, and that's totally fine. We're getting pleasure, so why does it matter if this woman likes having her nipples pinched and that woman doesn't?

    The author isn't more or less uptight about sex than anyone else here who has sexual preferences, and saying so is just offensive to anyone who has or plans on having sex in their lifetime.

    Also, this article seems to be written more for people who are having sex with people who they aren't in a relationship with. Maybe people who don't have a few hours to discuss their sexual preferences. Otherwise, I would imagine that open communication would be a key component.

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  44. written by a very sexually frustrated female

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    1. or a complete prude!

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  45. Ummm.. I would like it if she didnt speak for all women. I dont agree with everything on this list

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  46. .... Kerfuffle. Shear kerfuffle.

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  47. i feel like this was made by a slutty girl who is tired of getting the lazy dicks of the bunch

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  48. This is kinda geared towards women. Probably written by a woman. Take 11 and 9 for example. 9 says men should throw away the condom. Its stopping her from becoming pregnant. We don't want to wear it any more than you want to throw it away. and 11 states that men can pick right back up where they left off. That depends on if the girl knows what she is doing. If not then we fall back down pretty quickly too. and number 23) PERFORMING ORAL SEX TOO GENTLY- why don't women stop giving blow jobs to gently? How did you put it? "Get your whole mouth down there" girls need to do that too its called deep throating.

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  49. the 40 things ... lol FORTY ... lol 40 !!!

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  50. Usually they're like: "I don't know what I like, just be spontanious etc."
    Now they're like: "Here's the manual, learn those 40 by tomorrow night or you'll be in trouble."
    Seriously? We have to do all the work, plus were just happy that you're naked and your giving us all kinds of chores?
    Men aren't sextoys either, don't you dare use us as such.
    If you wan't it your way, it's only fair to give men what they want aswell, and maybe then there wouldn't be things as "accidental anal".

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  51. Choke me, spank me, pull my hair, and call me your dirty girl!! Would just put me in a trance!

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  52. waht a load of bollox. suck dick an take it in the ass like a REAL woman shud and shut the fuck up with ur shit an where the 40 list for women to please men bitches

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  53. This is funny. I'm so confused now about what I'm supposed and not supposed to do I may never have sex again.

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  54. Lmao. God, I have never red a more true thing in my life.

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  55. Lmao. God, I have never red a more true thing in my life.

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  56. I think the most important thing that should be added to this list: THINKING ALL WOMEN LIKE THE SAME THING/RESPOND THE SAME WAY.

    This is not a perfect "how-to" guide. I love to have my nipples bitten, and I have to have rough massages or else it tickles - and I at times feel VERY awkward giving these directions in sexual situations.
    There are at least 8 of these that the opposite apply for me entirely, and the same for some of my past female partners, and girl friends.

    Ask her what she likes - pay attention to her body language. Allow her to direct you without you being offended or feeling like you aren't doing your job. Your JOB is to learn how to please that particular partner at the time.

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  57. This list doubles as the list for things that turn men on.

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  58. The Gate Cleaner15 August 2012 07:36

    Okay, speaking as a woman, I have to admit I'm perfectly fine with 13 of these, and am nearly always very turned on by 17 of them. THis doesn't begin to apply to all women. Some women LIKE being bossed around, or getting love bites. (And hell: I personally do not find anything wrong with a guy in underwear and socks. XD Silly? Yes. But silly doesn't begin to negate sexiness.) Of course, not all women are going to agree with me, but seriously? Not all women will boot you out of bed if you come early or need to ask if she's finished (at least it shows you want to know, in my opinion).

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  59. This is pretty damn ridiculous. As a woman...having my hair pulled while I'm going down on a guy is one of my biggest turn ons. Seriously? Would you rather look up to see him picking his nose or kickin back with his hands behind his head?
    Generous lovers beget generous lovers.

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  60. Clearly half of these angry men on here dont want to hear that half the shit they do in bed is annoying... they probably wonder why their girlfriends never seem that into sex...

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    1. Very touchy too! I wonder how many times they've had sex without having an orgasm but their partner did. Probably not many. It's biologically easier for a man to come. By design. It's harder for women and most men could use a little advice. If you are really so offended and don't care what feels good to the person you're sleeping with, I can see why you're probably angry about this. Because you aren't getting laid much. I especially agree with the attacking the clitoris and being obsessed with the vagina ones. The other ones are mostly minor, who cares shit. But seriously, I hate when a guy wants to have sex and just shoves his hand down my pants and well, attacks my clitoris. It's like, Whoa, I think we skipped a few steps here. My vagina needs a little time to get used to the idea that's it's going to be penetrated soon. We take longer to warm up. Guys get hard and are ready to go. Women for the most part need some foreplay.

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  61. I don't agree with this list for the most part. I know that I am very different in what I want as a woman, but this list is full of blanket statements like "No woman likes that." which is just not true.

    Also, I have to disagree about the part where the author says "Do not ask if she has orgasmed." You SHOULD ask! Especially if it is a new partner. Some girls don't make a noise, some make noise the whole time; it's just not an indicator of climaxing. That being said, some women find it very hard to orgasm, so they may not have one. The woman will know how (and how often) she cums, so please just talk to each other!

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  62. Amazing. You (the author) have successfully managed to be thoroughly sexist to both men and women in the same article.

    1) Men don't exist to please you, and there's two sides to your "arguments". I'm sure many guys aren't too fond of you laying completely still like a dead fish every time either.
    2) You do not speak for all women- please stop assuming you do. Your stupidity is giving decent women a bad name.

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  63. I can't say I agree with some of this, in fact I only agree with about five. Am I just an odd woman for enjoying some of this?

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  64. Whoever wrote this is probably some prissy little bitch that's just never got into a good rougher session. I bet she lost it to her husband.

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  65. Listen to what everyone's saying here: everybody's different so communicate with your partner or one night stand if you want to orgasm. I mean, do I look like a mind reader sir, I dont know, I got 99 problems but this list aint one

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  66. Listen to what everyone's saying here: everybody's different so communicate with your partner or one night stand if you want to orgasm. I mean, do I look like a mind reader sir, I dont know, I got 99 problems but this list aint one

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  67. Dreadful ,your generalizing at best about sex- and what turns you or anyone else for that matter isn't written down in someones guide book anyplace and that would be better advice find out what turns your partner on and dump this sort of rulebook by the egotistical set

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  68. There's no such thing as a sex expert... unless someone has lived in thosands of diffrent bodies and had sex with just as many people. The best advice you can give is "Play it by ear" Figure out what your partner likes. Everyone is diffrent

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  69. You make some good points like, "Not caring if she comes." But you are generalizing so much on your own sexual experiences. Saying, "No woman likes that", is completely untrue. People have kinks that are things that you have never even thought about, ranging from very vanilla things like incorporating food into your play all the way to centaurs and fireplay. Just because you aren't into doesn't mean that others aren't. Be open minded, don't tell people what to dislike and like in bed because ultimately you will be wrote for at least that one person out there that likes that.

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  70. A lot of people have asked for a similar one for women. Here it is:

    Women:

    1. Don't create a list of dos and don'ts. Women are all wonderfully different, and nothing applies to them all. You're far more interesting than an IKEA bookshelf, and you don't need an instruction manual. It's very off-putting. Not only that, a guy who is only obsessed with your pleasure, and unable to enjoy himself is a distracted and unhappy lover. If we care about each other enough, we will figure you out.

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  71. I like how #36 tells you not to "bark instructions" to your partner during sex, and yet this is quite literally a list of 40 instructions that men should abide by during sex.

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  72. Fantastic tutorial. Undoubtedly, you are the experienced one. :) Great post...

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  73. This is ridiculous. I like more than half the stuff on this list, and I always appreciate it when my boyfriend makes sure that I've cum by asking. How is a simple "yeah," or "not yet," going to ruin the mood? And it's not like if he gets a little mixed up with my bra or panties I'm going to be like "Okay, FORGET it. I hate sex." Also, I'm not made of glass, and my boyfriend isn't an idiot. If I want him to do something differently I'll tell him, and if I do something silly he tells me too. Like adults. And we both still orgasm quite a bit. Like adults.

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  74. Prostate or not some women genuinely like anal sex.

    I do.

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  75. Seriously.... Wayyyyy too much work for a basic human desire. I guess that's why guys give up so easily,women are more trouble than they are worth. Here is what it's like... If you have 5 hours for sex, do all of the above, for her. If this is the first time, talk to her and see what she likes... if this is your wife, well you should know what to do by now if not find a good lawyer.

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  76. This treats all women as one being. you want to learn what she likes and doesn't like? ASK. Every woman is different, some like bites, some prefer slow and sensual, some want it fast, some want more breast play, some want less.

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  77. This should not be taken seriously. This list fails to take into account that not all women like the same thing. Here are my qualms...

    5) BITING HER NIPPLES. A little teeth can feel amazing. Yes, nipples can be very sensitive, but that doesn't mean you should be super gentle all the time.

    6) TWIDDLING HER NIPPLES. Sure, you should focus on the whole breast, but the truth of the matter is majority of the nerve endings are in the nipples and you rolling them around between your fingers and pinching them can be ecstasy.

    10) ATTACKING THE CLITORIS. I'm sorry, haven't we been trying for fucking ages to get men to FIND THE GODDAMN CLITORIS?! No, you lick, suck and rub that little bean like you'll never see it again.

    24) NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN. Let's face it, not all men (or women, for that matter) are good at asking for what they want, especially without it sounding awkward and ruining the mood. There is nothing wrong with physically guiding your partner.

    26) MOVING AROUND DURING FELLATIO. If he has to move or grab your head, you're doing it wrong. Accept what he's doing and learn from it. He's trying to tell you what he likes.

    34) LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE. The female version of the prostate is the muscle wall that separates the vagina and the rectal cavity. This wall is very sensitive and can be orgasmic if stimulated properly. Pain and pleasure are processed in the same part of the brain, hence, the initial pain of anal sex is what makes it enjoyable.

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  78. these are all opinions not facts like dont bark instructions some females like dominating some like being dominated some like it hard some like it soft dont make a stupid list apparently whoever made this is really picky at sex....ITS JUST SEX.....and YOLO is not an excuse to be a fucking whore thank u goodnight

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  79. I found this hilarious. No two women like sex the same way and no two couples have sex the same way.
    I really hope no guy actually takes this as the law of how to have sex with a woman. Ask her what she wants, duh.
    I have to go clean my face now (laughed so hard i cried and my mascara ran lol).

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  80. instead of posting this crap how about the bitch who wrote all of this tell her man exactly what she likes in bed while in bed. being non vocal is the worst thing anyone can do in bed. everyones different not every woman wants the same so dont train every guy to be good for you. if u dont like what hes doing speak up woman

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    Replies
    1. sometimes its easier just to say, hey, I agree with number so and so. rather than take lists as absolute truth, just ask your partner if she agrees

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  81. This is mostly presumptuous crap. Every woman and every man is different. Some things that work with one couple will turn another off, simply because of their respective chemistry. My lover's ability to stimulate me by just gently caressing me with her hands is truly amazing. My former partner's manual skills were nowhere near as good (though she made up for it in myriad other ways). The real shame about articles such as this is that insecure people may be tempted to take them entirely on trust. There are but two experts on sex between couples: each half of the couple.

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  82. While some of this is practical advice, a bunch more is not necessarily true - and entirely dependent on the people of involved. For example, if a woman likes dirty talk, she may *not* say anything, may only like being spoken to, may be too embarrassed, or any number of other things. A more practical piece of advice would be not to come on too strong. Start with something a little naughty. If she responds positively to it, that's a cue to keep going. If she grimaces and ducks her head, you know to shut up.
    Also, something that I think is generally untrue is this: there are plenty of different kinds of female orgasms, some less overwhelming than others, and there is nothing wrong with asking an honest question about whether she has achieved this.
    In short, this is somewhat helpful, but also greatly misleading in a few ways. Some women *do* want hot wax poured on them, or like their nipples played with roughly. I think the point here is to *ask* about these things, and create an environment of sexy communication, even if it's just a hot one-off.
    That's just my two cents.

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  83. NOT FARTING. Women love the smell of man gas.

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  84. To be honest, quite a few of these I disagree with. I love the pinching and biting on the nipples. I love when a guy takes control and forces me down on my knees for him. I love when he tells me what to do. And my god if you are sticking your penis inside of me, it better be going fast, unless you're purposefully going slow to tease me, in that case it's incredibly sexy. Not all women are boring hags in bed.. some of us like a little spice. ;)

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  85. Ya, Im going to have to say half the things on this list are total BS. Biting is a turn on for my girl where ever it is. there are others on this list, i just dont want to go into detail.

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  86. maybe if you have some kind of shame-complex about sex - i'd never get there if my fiance adhered to half of the things on this list. no biting? no anal play? no thrusting during oral? porn is sexy for a reason, this list makes sex sound painfully boring.

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  87. Yea this is ridiculous most girls I've been with don't even like when I ask questions.. They just want me to do whatever I want and love it when I get rough on them. I think this was made by a high maintenance woman who does not get laid often.

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  88. If you follow this you are a robot having sex with a corpse

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  89. This is dumb. If you dont know what your partner likes, ask them. Don't follow this stupid tutorial. I've been with women of all sorts, each one is different. "Don't come too early" "Dont come too late" What are we robots that can bunch in an orgasm code? Merely these two statements show how ignorant the person who wrote this is.

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  90. How many sources did you use to write this exactly?? Because it sounds VERY subjective like you only used YOUR experience. About 10 of these things my girlfriend LOVES. Like biting her nipples. She's complained to me for not doing it enough.

    Moral of the story, don't use inductive reasoning for sex. Everyone is different, and NONE of these are 100% true.

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  91. Listen, every single girl is different than the last. There are about 5 tips in here which may apply to a few consistently, like not having your stomach plop against hers (not a problem if you're skinny anyways but whatever). I have been with girls who LOVE hot candle wax, love talking dirty, love having their nipples bit, love being dominated in general. You are one of two kinds of women. You are a more dominant woman. You want some power in sex. There is an ENTIRE other category secretly making up about 40% of women. I am a guy who is "proficient" with girls, and this article seems to just turn a blind eye to a huge statistic of girls who would be bored as shit with these pieces of advice.

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  92. worst. article. ever.
    women do not have a singular instruction manual.

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  93. 26) MOVING AROUND DURING FELLATIO. Don't thrust. She'll do all the moving during fellatio. You just lie there. And don't grab her head.

    Sounds like a pretty boring and uneventful "Fellatio" session to me... Why would you not want him to move? & Don't grab her head? That's the opposite of what I'm in to.

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  94. This is so inaccurate for a few ladies out there. I'm a female, and coming from a bisexual.....girls like different things. Not this list loaded with bs. People are so close minded!

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  95. I love when he tells me what to do.Ya, Im going to have to say half the things on this list are total BS. Biting is a turn on for my girl where ever it is. there are others on this list, i just dont want to go into detail.

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  96. I love when he tells me what to do.Ya, Im going to have to say half the things on this list are total BS. Biting is a turn on for my girl where ever it is. there are others on this list, i just dont want to go into detail.

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  97. This is just bull. Maybe I'm just a super kinky chick but I'm gonna give a run down:I love the feel when he doesn't shave and has 5 o clock shadow that burns my inner thighs. I squeeze my own boobs and nipples. Quite hard too. I love it if someone else does it to me as well. Every guy I was with knew right where the clit was.Hard and fast is soooo damn good.I love when he grabs on to my head as I'm giving head.thrust....so you were right there.Not all cum is salty.Some is sweet.Some tastes like nothing.It all depends on what he eats and drinks.It's the girl's resposibility to spit if she wants.I love pictures, I'm very flexible, and dirty talk is amazing. But maybe I'm a perv. Well I AM but I like it.

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  98. Dear god there is so much here I don't agree with. As a women I would be so upset if my man listened to half of the shit that has been put up here

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  99. If you're truly interested in how to please a woman and be able to have sex with women, get to know them personally, all people are individuals and sex is getting to know whatever individual(s) you're with. No matter who you're having sex with get to know them, what they like, and what they don't...

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  100. This list is awesome and very accurate. Men do all these things, sometimes without noticing. This is women's point of view on the problem. If the men out there have their input in what women should not do, please share. I'd be keen to know.
    If your sex partner is lying there like a dead fish, is for a reason: you dont know how to get her in the mood and are so bad in bed that she is just praying it will be over soon.
    Men are the ones sticking their pennises on somebody elses body. So, hell yeah, you are more responsible for it than women are. And seriously if you dont have the desire and the decency to at least want to learn how to please women and are not interested in her well being, please do buy a sex doll.
    This article was not intended to be a critic to all men, but to specific things some do. Learn to take it as an adult and learn from it, try not doing those and you will see the results.

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  101. This really made me laugh out loud :).

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  102. This is stupid and mostly inaccurate. Granted it applies to some women, but as a "How To" for all women, it's ridiculous. Some apply to everyone while others apply to no one at all. If you really want to know the mistakes you're making as a sexual partner, have you considered being a mature adult and asking your partner? What a concept ;)

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  103. Em...this is completely inaccurate. I love getting my nipples bit, but I -am- into Bd/Sm, so therein may lie the difference. It's about the same as wearing clamps or clothespins. Even past that, the rest of this is stupid. How about just asking the girl you're with what she likes as an individual, instead of retreating to the internet and looking up how-to-guides like a big whiny coward...?

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  104. A list of 40 things is ridiculous. A man needs only to do this: A)Foreplay, foreplay, foreplay. B)Be patient and gentle, unless she tells you not to be. C)Remember her whole body is an erogenous zone. D) Put her orgasm before yours. E) Hold her afterwards. F) Ask her if there is something she likes that you didn't do, for the next time.

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    Replies
    1. yep...you got it right and saved some time

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  105. yea this is terribly innacurate... just like men, all women have different sexual pleasures that they wish a man to perform on her... for example, more than half of the things on this list, my GF has specifically asked me to do... so what it comes down to, is be respectful until you are both comfortable to talk to eachother about what you do and dont want when it comes to sex... and for women, you should just tell your man what you want, making him guess is what makes him try most of the things that you probably dont like - BECAUSE YOU ARENT BEING CLEAR WITH THEM.... its not our fault, nor yours... its a lack of communication that causes the issues...

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  106. Great idea for a post.Thank you!

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  107. really??? i'm a girl and i like most of those things....

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  108. really??? i'm a girl and i like most of those things...just because some wemen don't like that, it doesn't mean that none of us do...

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  109. Inaccurate...I think she just can't find a good sex partner...you gotta talk to your partner and explore each other to find out what each other likes...at least half the things she said are from her singular point of view that she attributed to all women

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  110. If I couldn't push my girlfriend's head down when she was giving me oral then I'd just not even bother to ask her for a blowjob.
    Half of these are understandable, the other half are tame, and just ensure that the guy will be trying to fold in a softie when it comes down to intercourse.

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  111. It kinda sounds like a bitching fit: "Don't come too fast!" "Don't come too slow!" "Don't come in her mouth!" "Not too hard!" "Not too soft!". The reason why there's not a post on how women can please men is because they really don't need to please him: If he comes, he's good to go. The disparity of the sexes...

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  112. This is good, keep it up

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  113. This is all worth a shot, and i have violated every "no no" on this blog. It's difficult, as a guy, not to get over excited. He's worked his ass off all night to get you where you are and then it is time for his "goal". Assuming he is a god at what he does because, as a bachelor, he has never really paid any attention to what he is trying to do. Going by the barbaric rule of "I enjoyed it, of course she did". Just being a guy, and being over confidant, because there has never been a woman who expressed to him how it should be done.
    Thank you for this blog. I'm going to try this on My girlfriend and I'll let you know if it works.

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  114. Well this sounds like something a little prissy picky bitch would make. The typical woman who bugs her man about playing video games (unless it controls his life that's different), leaving the toilet seat up, half ass meets his sexual needs. Ladies and gents it's a relationship aka 2 people involved. Sex isn't everything in one but hey, if the sex sucks do you really want to stay with that person? Half, if not more, of these points are wrong. I love sex, my partner loves sex, we all love sex!! Just a matter of finding that special someone it feels like fireworks every time you do it =D. I loooove to please my man because it is satisfying to me as well..even if it means him going "too fast" or "too hard"..well I guess that all depends on the size of his penis. We're so comfortable around each other in bed and in general that these types of things don't even cross our minds. I mean why do blogs and articles like this even exist? There's no right or wrong way to have sex! At times, it is hard to tell if a girl has cum. Some guys may not be able to differentiate louder moaning to cumming moaning. Which is why I always do my part and tell him before I do it that way he doesn't have to ask. Even if he did, I wouldn't mind. I'm so thankful I am in a judge free relationship.

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  115. just stop with all the fucking rules and needs all the goddamn time. hey i'm willing to deal with the little things that distract you or annoy you, but give back to the guy once and while. be nasty, rough, take it like a bitch, and give it back hard to the guy. we like that shit too.

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  116. Personally, as a girl, I thought almost all of this was spot on.

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  117. so many guys getting butthurt. a guy who can please his woman all the time could even see something in this list that goes oh didnt see it that way. stop acting like its attacking your lack of manhood.

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  118. As with any list containing such sweeping generalisations, it is only ever accurate for a small group. There are ALWAYS exceptions to the "rules". Also, most of these can apply to both sexes.

    1) NOT KISSING FIRST. When both of you have butt-breath, kissing in the morning is not much of a turn-on.

    2) BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR. Seriously? People do this? Breathing in her ear like a Labrador can be pretty hot though.

    4,5,6) BOOBS & NIPS. A previous experience with a lesbian taught me that some girls don't cum until their boobs are squeezed, slapped, twisted, and bitten. Hard.

    7) IGNORING OTHER PARTS OF HER BODY. Agreed. Unless it's spontaneous and/or public.

    8) GETTING THE HAND TRAPPED. This tends to mostly happen when the girl is a bit chubby and there is just not enough playroom, so yeah... take 'em off.

    9) LEAVING HER A LITTLE PRESENT. Okay, now this is just bullshit. This is the responsibility of both people. Just as it's up to both of us to share the costs for any contraception or abortions.

    10) ATTACKING THE CLITORIS. See 4,5,6. Some girls just like it rough.

    11) STOPPING FOR A BREAK. This is only sometimes true, as it is with men. Some women stay highly aroused with minimal contact, whereas I will go soft VERY fast if I see her checking her watch.

    12) UNDRESSING HER AWKWARDLY. Why so serious? Jeez. Loosen up a bit before you suffer early onset menopause.

    18,19) FAST & HARD vs SLOW & SOFT. Sometimes it's nice to melt into a deep and sensuous embrace, and sometimes you just need to go and get fucked. Ask my girlfriend.

    22) SLAPPING YOUR STOMACH AGAINST HERS. This can be a massive turn-on for all concerned. Like pulling a boot out of the mud.

    I can't even finish this list. So lame. Sex isn't about rules anyway. It's about having fun and exploring each others' needs and desires. If you don't like what your partner is doing, tell them. If you want your partner to do something else, tell them. If you can't agree, fucking compromise. The reality of sex is never going to fit into a neat little list of bitching and whining no matter how hard you try.

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  119. Some of these are just dick moves, but a good amount I really enjoy. People have different tastes and sensitivity; most women don't want soft, vanilla sex all the time.

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  120. feminism as its bestest... i think the author must be a freak in the sheets

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  121. As long I get pleasure, who the fuck cares about the bitch your fucking once then leaving her next day. Oh and I cum when I feel for it, if its after 3 mins or 30 I don't care aslong it feels good for me.

    Fuck feminist sluts, should chop their tits off :)

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  122. I have never ever met a girl who's complained about me not shaving (face that is), clean shaven stubble is a lot more painful than three-days growth. No matter how many times you shave it's never going to be smooth.

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  123. If in the heat of passion you're worried about how you look with socks on and no pants, then you've missed the point completely.

    Sex isn't about rules. It's about discovering each others likes and dislikes. Exploring and experimenting each others bodies is fun. Some of the items on this list women actually enjoy.

    Terrible article. Way to suck the enjoyment out of something beautiful.

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  124. Fuckin over rated rather put sum jelly on my balls and fuckin jack off for 5 min hv a gr8 fuckin time then off to bed with jelly on my balls happy fuckin endin -_- than wastin my time & energy on sum bullshit that i'm not even gonna enjoy fuk that bitch muwahahaa

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  125. Taking to long to cum huh.....really? Kill yourself author. And I have NEVER met a woman who didnt like her nipples tweeked ESPECIALLY durinfg sex. GTFOH!

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  126. As a woman I disagree with #34. Anal play feels great, sometimes!

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  127. Why isn't "proofreading" on the list?

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  128. First of all, I am a woman and I hate this article. Yes, there are a few things on here that YOUNG men (those who have had sex but still in the newbie category) can think about but really it all boils down to this: Some of these things can cause physical uncomfortableness and/or pain depending on the woman and you should have open communication and care about her needs TOO. Many of these "problems" were issues I had as a "newbie" the first couple of years with guys who were my age (thus, young and lacking knowledge about sex just as I was). But really? Who is this article written for? A sixteen year old boy? Now if it WAS, then I agree with the majority of this message. Sixteen year old boys watch a lot of porn and inadvertently try doing things they've seen more experienced people do in the five minutes it takes for them to masturbate... That's OKAY because they are young but most men grow up after that when they have more experience with women. And most WOMEN will tell you that a good number of those "mistakes" listed can actually be enjoyable depending on the situation or person they are having sex with. Even myself, I like it nice and cozy sometimes and others I just want to fuck like an animal and need a slap on the ass or want that hand down there PRONTO, clothes be damned.

    There are some things men don't know about women... immature women or women who are shy about sex (something we are usually taught) will not tell you the truth about what they like if they really want a guy to find her sexy. A guy can ask "Hey, do you like when I pinch your nipples like this?" she's probably thinking "Um, no because it's not a bread twisty tie but if YOU like it I will just nod my head and hope you get distracted and stop doing that". So, the lesson is this... unless you are absolutely sure, it's probably a good rule of thumb that MOST women don't get any pleasurable sensations specifically from nipple-play. Biologically nipples ARE sensitive but I would liken nipple sensitivity to the sensitivity of a man's ball sack= Sometimes it's okay if the play is light but DON'T pinch or labor over it because that shit hurts and/or gets boring! Basically, don't do anything to a woman's nips that you wouldn't do to your ball sack without some form of verbal request.

    But really, the true reason I hate this article is because it is promoted like it's a book of law that men have to follow. Any dumbass can tell you that nothing is black and white when it comes to sex. What it should have been titled is "My personal opinion on the topic of sex between partners who do not know how to communicate" and it would be accurate.

    Girls reading this: You may be nodding your head at some of this or rolling your eyes at others (like I did). Just disregard everything you read above and find a guy who you can trust discussing intimate situations and let him know what you like and tell him what you don't. I know it sounds like a simple suggestion but I know how daunting that can be sometimes, especially if you don't want to disappoint him. But think about it: Will he be disappointed that he *actually* knows what you like or will it be more disappointing for him to labor through life thinking he's a sex god and never knowing how much more awesome he could be. It will be YOUR mistake if you aren't open with him and (as you can see above) he will be under the illusion that he can do no wrong.

    I am excluding men who don't care about a woman's pleasure. Just continue complaining about "women are poopoo heads" on the internet like you've been doing... nobody cares.

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  129. Guys I hate to break it to you but you do the same thing to women like you tell us everything we do is wrong and then youre offended when we have something to say about you. It doesnt matter what you do in bed as long as both you and your sexual partner are enjoying it

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  130. Mother. Of. God. I Stumbled onto this article and I want to choke it. Apparently women are ungodly fragile and easily bored/broken...Was this author male or female? If it's a male he needs to find a good, kinky, subby female to go screw because this is ridiculous. I have yet to meet another woman who doesn't like her nipples bit, even if it's only lightly biting is biting. And "suction" is sucking, not biting, I hate hickies. They're gross. However, I love being bitten, that's amazing. Bruises from sex are a sign of an amazing time. =D

    I mean, some of this makes sense..but it sounds like stuff to teach a new person. I do agree with a guy wearing socks and boxers looks funny. Would I not have sex with them because they didn't go "Oh yeah, I'm wearing socks"? No. That's silly, I sometimes wear socks still.

    Ugh...just...ugh.

    If a female wrote this: Go read Story Of O, or 50 Shades. Women actually like rough things, even if it's just sometimes.

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  131. 1. Nipple play is erotic for some people, like me.
    2. Wax is a yes, food is a no for me.
    3. I LOVE having my head forced down, I like it rough and animalistic
    4. Conclusion? Everyone is different and men are only wrong if they persist in doing things that their partner has made them aware that they don't like.

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  132. okay I freaking hate this for the following reasons. I know everyone is saying that every woman and man is different but I'd just like to demonstrate just HOW different by showing that I disagree with almost every "mistake" in this article.
    #4, 5, 6: I LOVE having my boobs/nipples squeezed bitten AND twiddled. not just during foreplay either.
    #15: I, for one, love deep rough massages. They loosen my muscles and make me more relaxed.
    #18, 19: When the time is right, you can go as hard and fast as you want it's the fucking best.
    #26: Feeling him move and thrust into my mouth helps out a lot especially if my neck is getting sore. It also is a huge turn-on because I know he's enjoying it. A man thrusting while fellatio, in my opinion, is equivalent to a woman rubbing her own clit during sex. He's only increasing the pleasure even more which is hot
    #27: I'd rather my boyfriend cum on my body than in my mouth. I find it a hell of a lot sexier
    #28: I shouldn't even have to fucking explain. Most of the time this is the only position that makes me orgasm and it is a favorite of mine. I like being in control just as much as I like being dominated so I could go all day just like that.
    #31: I'm not into the props thing, it's always made it a little awkward.
    #33: Trying a lot of different positions can help make it more fun and give more variety. you might just find something that you love. and if it hurts that bad maybe you could stretch before or just tell your partner you don't like that one and move on to another one it's really not a big deal. Being so closed-minded will only make your partner afraid to tell you when he wants to try something new, closing off communication and potentially ending your sexual relationship
    #35: I love having love bites/bruises/scratches from sex. They're almost like battle scars or trophies and they remind me of the great time I had and will eventually turn me on again
    #37: um okay seriously this is a MUST-HAVE for me. Talking dirty lets me know exactly what he wants and it is so sexy
    and finally #40: wtf. Maybe it's just cause i'm in a long term relationship but I always thank my boyfriend after sex and he always thanks me. it reminds you that you just did something special for your partner. ESPECIALLY in situations where I cum too early so I keep going or I blow him until he cums too. I don't HAVE to do that, if anything it's a hassle. so I like it when he says thank you. I also don't expect him to continue after he cums just because I haven't orgasmed yet, as long as it doesn't happen every time. so when he does finish me off I thank him.
    I could go on about this for days but I just wanted to get my two cents in. There is no such thing as a "mistake" when having sex unless you are doing something without the other person's consent and that goes for both men and women.

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  133. REPLY)

    We don't care whether you have a prostate or not, that's not why we're doing it,
    If you can't get in with the yoga-stuff, jog on,
    Sometimes we don't shave. Believe me, this is less of a turn off than a girl with stubbly legs,
    And as for not making you go on top doing all the work - seriously? Remember who's where mpost of the time....

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  134. thank you so much
    it's a nice advanced must every body know

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    ReplyDelete
  135. very awesome tips really these are very helpful during sex with her..can you tell me more important..???

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  136. I find that most of this simply isn't true. Girls love it when I'm not shaved, keep having breaks, pump them like an industrial power tool, etc. I think I could break all the rules listed here and still make the girl cum. Not a very good article to be honest.

    ReplyDelete

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